First Set of Presidential Candidates Visit the Iowa State Fair

One of the United States’ most important and frankly strangest traditions every presidential election is the Iowa Soapbox.  Proudly hosted by the local Des Moines Register, this time honored event began last Thursday with the same revelry this convoluted primary season has enjoyed so far.  Hillary Clinton joked about Snapchat and ate pork chops amongst the hoi-polloi, Trump arrived via helicopter and golf cart in typical generalissimo fashion and candidates without name recognition took to the Soapbox to sell themselves to the heat-weary Iowan crowd.

The first speaker, taking the stage with the same pomp and circumstance he carried in 1775, was George Washington (artfully portrayed post-mortem by one Ron Carnegie), who empowered the crowd to participate in the democratic process and compared the issues of now to the issues of old.  Though the crowd was enthralled, Thursday’s show was not to end there.

The candidate portioned opened with Governor Mike Huckabee.  Carrying his typical fire-and-brimstone mannerisms, he denounced abortion in all forms, declaring ““I’m not sure how we fully expect to invoke God’s blessing on this country if we continue the slaughter of unborn children in their mother’s wombs.”  He followed it up with Conservative poise: strengthen our borders, level a Fair Tax, and reform the criminal justice system.  After Huckabee descended the box-stage to enjoy the grill’s first pork chop, two Democratic candidates polling fairly dismally followed.

First up was self-declared moderate Democrat Jim Webb, who touted his extensive military experience and unwillingness to be bought.  Second came Martin O’Malley, who pulled to the left with his 15-point plan.  He offered himself as a younger, fresher alternative to the aging Clinton and long-since-aged Sanders, but carried many of the same policies.  A $15 minimum wage, stronger unions, and education reform formed the backbone of Gov. O’Malley’s speech.  Though his poll numbers still show him unrepairably behind, the crowd seemed to emphatically support the Governor’s policies and charisma.

Of course, Thursday’s show was just an appetizer.  Friday brought the first frontrunner to the Soapbox, Jeb Bush.  Traveling “far and wide” to eat a fried Snickers bar (his words, not mine), the Governor brought much of the same can-do attitude to the table when he stepped up to the plate.  While the previous day’s candidates spoke mostly in policy-speak, Governor Bush took a more pragmatic route.  He placed himself at odds with Clinton and Obama, offering himself as the natural alternative to combat the national security issues facing the nation.  He attacked the President directly, along with government hacking, veteran care, and of course, ISIS.  “When you pull back, voids are filled. And sadly today, we have a void that has been filled, a caliphate the size — larger than Iowa,” declared Bush to much applause.

The next day brought three more vitriolic, passionate speakers to the Soapbox, and the two frontrunners elsewhere.  Both Clinton and Trump declined to speak at the Box and instead held separate press events, but did so on very, very different terms.  Trump arrived via helicopter (which, to be fair, he offered rides in to fairgoers) and delivered his typical passionate stump speech in a baseball cap, while Clinton socialized with fairgoers at the ground level and defended herself against the recent email controversy.

The Soapbox, however, was not to be forgotten.  2012 runner-up Rick Santorum buckled down on national security, focusing on the looming threat of the Islamic State.  “I will make sure that they are not spending their money on weapons. They will spend it on body bags,” Santorum declared, along with numerous attacks on Planned Parenthood and the current prison system’s treatment of drug users.  Following him was Democratic candidate Lincoln Chaffee, who made himself especially quotable by declaring that Jeb Bush had drank the “neo-con Kool-aid” and by delivering strong Democratic rhetoric.

Finally, candidate Bernie Sanders spoke at the Box.  Right as he began speaking, however, a helicopter passed by overhead.  “There’s Donald Trump.  I apologize. We left the helicopter at home,” he said in a well-timed reply to the interruption, earning quite the laugh from the crowd.  After the brief breaking of character, Sanders returned to his well-practiced stump speech, a Populist diatribe against the billionaire class reminiscent of William Jennings Bryan’s Cross of Gold.  Sanders, as usual, drew a massive crowd to the event who supported his every word with applause.

Though many of the big names have come and gone, the Iowa State Fair is far from over.  With the event stretching until Saturday, August 22^nd, many candidates have yet to appear.  If the State Fair stays as entertaining and over the top as it’s been so far, Part 2 will be a heck of a lot of fun to write.